Did you know there is an ex-church of Christ support group online? I think this is pretty interesting because there is much we can learn from mistakes, misunderstandings, and our differences. You can find anything there from ICOC horror stories to all sorts of discussions on doctrine. Another interesting section is the “New Paths of Faith” section to find out how people are answering the question, “Now what?” or “Where do we go from here?” It is very important we understand people, why they come, why they stay and why some leave.
On the other hand there is a lot of sad information on this website. Lots of horror stories, splits, disunity, anger, and the like. It is an important reminder and wake up call that we are dealing with the most sensitive areas of people’s lives and that we must move forward in a way that is honoring to God but also sensitive to others. I am proud to be associated with the Churches of Christ but like any other religious group there will be mistakes made or things that could have gone better. Hopefully through all that we learn lessons rather than ignore them and learn how to be healthier as individual Christians and as congregations.
More and more I am seeing the trend of bash the one you’re with. I think it is important to realize two things in all of this:
1 – The church is beautiful, fulfills an important purpose in the world, and is bought with the blood of Christ.
2 – The church is composed of people who aren’t perfect yet and because it involves flesh and blood there will be problems from time to time. It is important we learn to walk through those problems in ways that are healthy and build up the body rather than tear it down.
The temptation is to think some other group does it better or that if we just leave this church or that church that things will get better. Bottom line, the church is the church and God doesn’t intend for us to reach perfection this side of heaven. That is no excuse to do things as we please and injure as many people as possible along the way. But it does mean that we live in tension. So in the mean time we rejoice and we groan all at the same time. But in all things we seek reconciliation with God and others in order to be who God wants us to be and to bring life and godliness to as many people as possible along the way.
Filed under: Christianity, Church, Church of Christ, Religion
Hey Matt,
I saw this a couple of years ago. On the one hand, I started thinking, “I should take notes”, but on the other hand, so much of this stuff is just so negative, I’m not sure it helps more than it hurts. You’re right. People are tossing out all kinds of babies with old bathwater without considering the implications of their actions much of the time. There is no denomination that doesn’t have members who are critical of it. And even if we adopt all of their practices to do what they do, we’ll discover a whole new set of problems and things to complain about.
I’ve personally had a positive experience in all the churches of Christ I’ve been associated with. I’ve had things happen in each of them I wasn’t pleased with, but I have yet to see the bad outweigh the good in my own experiences.
I still have yet to find a group of believers whose teachings and practices more closely resembles what I find in the Bible than do the churches of Christ. Some of us do better than others, but when we’re practicing what we’re preaching, I feel very good to be where I am.
Mark
Agreed 100%
Very well said.
I heartily agree with the article that’s posted above. I myself had visited the ex-church-of-christ-website. If I were a younger Christian, I would have lost my faith too. But I am not a younger Christian, and I think I have bottomless patience and equally bottomless love for people of this sort.
These disgruntled members who call themselves the ex are actually the unpaid bills of our fellowship.
All I can offer for them is prayer, not an engagement in some blame game. We have had too much of this already.
Once I had tried to restore a disgruntled member of the church whom I had taught and baptized when I was still his minister. Doing so takes a lot of effort, a lot of time (five years), a lot of understanding. Finally he came back, but joined another of our fellowship groups–same church, only different preacher, different members.
What turned him off was the attitude. What changed him was also an attitude, only better.
Thanks for allowing me to post.
Brotherly yours,
Ed Maquiling
All this discussion seems to miss an inspired approach — Priscilla and Acquilla’s approach to a brother with incomplete spiritual knowledge; Apollos of Alexandria. In private they taught him more completely the word of the LORD (on a very difficult topic, Baptism). In the process we just might discover some of our own inconsistancies.
Bob
I attend the Church of Christ.
Have been a minister in the churches of Christ but things have got to change.
I like my heritage but am also ashamed and embarrassed about what the church of Christ has done and some even continue to practice.
I can understand this group..
The church of Christ if not careful can have alot of cult like characteristics. Stating that they are the “one” true church; “Only Ones Saved” “excommunicating those who disagree with doctrinal issues” or “fellowshipping only within Churches of Christ”; “Labeling fellow preachers as false teachers such as Max Lucado and others”; “Limitting the Holy Spirit”; and countless other things that many times brings the church of Christ under the catagory of cult. These cult like characteristics have got to change! We don’t like the termonolgy cult but alot of churches of Christ would fit into that catagory. I have post on cults if you would like to see if your church of Christ fits the results.
Kinney,
Some of that still exists but it is few and far between. Just because a handful still don’t get it doesn’t mean the rest of us are doomed, out of touch, or are a cult.
You don’t live in rural Texas! It’s still a common view among the smaller CoC’s in many rural communities where many congregations are only 50 to 100 members. Many of these small churches are populated by senior citizens who have consistently drawn their theological views from preacher training schools such as Brown Trail and publications such as “The Spiritual Sword”. Positive change comes very slowly in the small CoC’s. My wife and I have to drive 35 miles one way to be a part of a CoC that doesn’t fall into the “Old Paths” category!
I know not all believe this way.
I am not saying that the rest of the church of Christ is doomed, out of touch.
I am saying if they claim to be the “one” true church, fellowship only within themsevles, believe their the only ones saved then we need to change these characteristics because they are cult like in nature. If we try to play on fears and emotions to get conversions and manipulate then we need to change. I can understand why those who have been abused by the Church of Christ have this support group. No we aren’t perfect. We should strive to be authentic in love, grace, mercy. Praise God for the churches of christ that have changed and are continuing to change.
My wife and I were forced to leave a congregation 15 years ago because the elders wanted us to publicly condemn instrumental music. I’m guessing that they suspected that we wanted to add instrumental music to the worship assembly since my wife became a Christian among the independent Christian Churches. Of course, we were not interested in promoting instrumental music, but we were also disinterested in condemning the Christians who had led my wife to Christ. However, the elders made it clear that we were not allowed to simply attend services. We were forced to leave.
I understand the hard feelings of some who have been abused. It’s difficult. In the back of your mind, you may always have a contingency plan for the next time you are rejected by a church. You may always look at a few other churches of different backgrounds as possible safe places if you are forced to leave again.
In our case, we found a Church of Christ that was willing to accept us. I hope that others who have been hurt by abusive leaders can find a Christ-honoring, Bible-believing church in which they can experience some degree of healing, too.
Wiley is right about rural TX. Living in a small west TX town can be very frustrating, but this is where I am and the people I go to church with need love too.
Just curious, Matt, and I mean no disrespect in asking. In the spirit of your post, and as a “former Church of Christ member,” still very much a member of the body of Christ: In your points 1 and 2, when you said “The church is…” were you referring to the Church of Christ denomination (I know, I know – The Church of Christ is “not a denomination!”), or were you referring to the universal body of Christ?
Universal – anyone determined to be in the church by Christ and no one else
Right on, Brother! Just had to check.
I have a friend in small town Oklahoma who was horribly abused by his church. He refuses to enter another church building as long as he lives and his faith walk is now very lonely (his wife is a believer but of no spiritual support to him) And there are NO grace-based CoC congregations nearby anyway, and his life long conditioning will not allow him to consider another “denomination. So I really DO understand where those on the Ex Church of Christ list are coming from.
I’ve remained in the CofC. I lost my faith in the old style of CofC teachings some thirty five years ago. But, I figured with books like Voices of Concern and Mission Magazine, that we would eventually join the modern world and change. And I waited patiently while learning and modifying my views on a lot of things. Well, the change has been glacial. At least most people in our fellowship now would allow that there are Christians in other groups. And I suspect that while most prefer acapella, they would not view that it is a sin that would condemn others to hell. But, even so, the most “liberal” CofC churches seem to fit with Conservative Evangelicalism. And that doesn’t fit where I think we should be either.
WARNING opinion about to be stated….. It is my opinion that the majority thought within rural American Churches of Christ is one that could be well stated by simply saying, “if you aren’t in my fellowship you will not be in heaven.” I certainly hope I am wrong but I fear I am not.
Dell,
Do you think the difficulty arises from the inability of smaller, rural churches to hire people with graduate education or at least some sort of Bible degree? I am not meaning to say you can’t be competent without that but it certainly does help. If a church is only able to offer a parsonage and a small stipend for full time work or needs their minister to be bi-vocational, then I can see how this type of doctrine and attitude could be propagated.
Hello friends,
Having read this post and the comments below it, a few thoughts come to mind and I would like to submit them to this blog in a brief response.
In my limited knowledge and humble view, I believe I have seen the two “sides” within the brotherhood and have a clear understanding of where both are and how they have arrived at their conclusions. I have witnessed the utter disregard for pure Bible teaching on “the left” and the massive anger, hatred and pride on “the right”. We have to put away these godless characteristics before we make an attempt at unity.
Perhaps, what is wrong with this picture is not our doctrinal view but our perception of where we are and where we should be, as the church universal. We find ourselves in the conundrum of “who is in the church?” in order to satisfy our desire to know who we may establish or maintain fellowship with.
We are starting in the wrong place. Going by titles or signs on buildings is not the Biblical approach, at all. We need to go back to the words of Jesus in Luke 8: 21. If we can unite behind this premise, we will have the same kind of fellowship that Jesus had striven for.
Question:
Who is…
1) Hearing the Word of God (i.e. listening to Jesus)?
2) Doing the Word of God (i.e. obeying what Jesus taught when He was on earth and through His Holy Apostles whom He gave His Spirit)?
The ones who fall in these Christ-given categories are within “our” fellowship.
Oh, and another thought: Is it important for us to know and love this Body of believers? What did Jesus say about knowing His people (John 10: 27)? What did he DO when it came to loving them (Acts 20: 28)? We need to know our brethren and love them if we are to be like our Savior.
If we cannot agree on these fundamental principles of Christian fellowship, we can never have unity.
Mike Hildreth
The problem comes it at #2. People have all sorts of different interpretive frameworks/hermeneutics that lead them to believe they are doing what God said, when in fact some of what they are doing might be quite the opposite. So to back up, another question to ask is “What does God’s Word say?” That sounds like a silly and simple question but the answers people have come up with have certainly divided Christianity and let to all kinds of strange practices (the doing).
Not to point out the obvious, but if the church of Chrst was doing a “jam up job” of loving it’s members/neighbors/fellow humans, there would be no need for sites like the exchurchofchrist website. Just because “Christs” moto was “love your neighbor as yourself” does not make true. More damage then good has been done in the name of “Christ” by people who profess love for him, but seen to find pleasure in judgeing harshly those who don’t believe B/C/V, exactly as they do. Where is Christ in that kind of warped and twisted thinking?
Mary,
Can you name a denomination that has never hurt a single individual in any way, shape or form? Can you name a single congregation that has never hurt a single individual in any way, shape, or form.
My point is, to single out the Churches of Christ as if they are the only one with these issues would be disingenuous as best. We all have our issues. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes and do a better job next time.
Yes many people have been hurt by many different religions, the problem I have with the Church of Christ is it’s inability to accept responsibility about how it has treated it’s own members and other “christians”. When one “religious” group claims to have all the answers, all the time, for all the people on the planet, that is about having power, and being RIGHT. Christ was not about being RIGHT, he was about love. Love thy neighbor as thyself… not once have I read in the New Testament, ” bash thy neighbor, into the ground because he uses music in religious services”… the list could go on and on, but I will stop here.
By the way, thanks for asking. It is a point not lost on me. Many, many people from many, many different religions have experienced persecution. That is why I am so very gratefull to live in a country where I am free, to live and breath from religious persecution!!
Mary,
Sorry you have been through a lot. I will say it depends on where you are, which congregation you are in, etc. I have been in the Church of Christ my entire life and have never heard anyone say they had every single answer or that anyone who disagreed with their view on any single point was hell bound. Granted, some may believe that and even some people I know may believe that but just never said that in my presence.
There is so much variety in the Churches of Christ today. I am afraid many people are living in the past. For instance, the congregation I am now a part of is really healthy and moving in a good direction and yet I hear people complain about how things used to be 40 years ago as if it was still going on here. But it isn’t. That doesn’t mean those issues aren’t present somewhere or that you didn’t experience them…this is just something I have noticed that people carry a past stigma of Churches of Christ based on something they haven’t experienced in 25+ years.
We are not the only ones in the history of Christianity who have struggled with these issues but I will say our lack of governance/organization makes these things varied from congregation to congregation. So to broad brush Churches of Christ as this or that isn’t really that fair. But that doesn’t negate your point that problems exist here and there and should be addressed. I don’t fear the truth but try to learn and grow.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you hear all that I am writing in the tone of utmost love and respect. Tone is hard to tell in hyper-text on a screen. God bless.
I’m part of a small church plant that decided not to put the label ‘church of Christ” on our fellowship since we are in the south and many “unchurched” folk in the area have had negative past experiences with our mostly well-intentioned brothers and sisters. I’ve been surprised at how many wounded CofC people have found us and journeyed with us for a while. We didn’t set out to be a hospital of sorts, but apparently there’s a need. True, every denomination has this problem, but I don’t see us (or them) facing and dealing with the problem. BTW, I miss your facebook page.
Larry,
Glad you are doing what you are doing.
I know the history of the Churches of Christ is paved with both amazing moments and terrific mistakes. I applaud the good and hope never to repeat the bad. But I have also lived long enough to know that if I leave one church and join another, the church I left just improved its health and the church I joined just went downhill a little more because I am a redeemed person who still is fight the battle between the Spirit and the flesh…between the self and the cross of Jesus. But I am not leaving the Churches of Christ, so all my fellow broken brethern in our fellowship…you’re stuck with me
and to all my other fellow Christian in those other tribes…you can breathe a sigh of relief 
.
Grace and peace,
Rex
Right on.